Saturday, February 12, 2005
Why you still like Peter Gabriel
Scientists have discovered why you’ll stop surfing and plant yourself on any station willing to play “Shock the Monkey.” Researchers at the University of Complicated Things have discovered a tiny gland at the base of the cortex called the Stingocampus, which moderates the human ability to appreciate music.
“The gland is active from puberty until the early onset of adulthood at about age 20.” Stated Dr. George Michael, lead researcher. “After that, the gland quickly atrophies rendering adults virtually incapable of appreciating any music not introduced during that critical seven-year span.” The phenomenon has been dubbed musicoma. It forms a mental time-capsule, much like having Madonna encased in amber.
Scientists first noted the anomaly while doing trend analysis of major-market radio, after discovering the average adult station has a mean catalog of 37 songs. Basically, the same songs by the same artists are looped into a digestible format and repeated daily.
“We’ve interviewed subjects with such acute musicoma that they break out in hives if they hear anything other than Phil Collins or Elton John,” stated Thomas Dolby M.D. “ I just know that if I hear *Sledgehammer* one more time I’m going to completely flip out…”
The Stray Cats could not be reached for comment.
“The gland is active from puberty until the early onset of adulthood at about age 20.” Stated Dr. George Michael, lead researcher. “After that, the gland quickly atrophies rendering adults virtually incapable of appreciating any music not introduced during that critical seven-year span.” The phenomenon has been dubbed musicoma. It forms a mental time-capsule, much like having Madonna encased in amber.
Scientists first noted the anomaly while doing trend analysis of major-market radio, after discovering the average adult station has a mean catalog of 37 songs. Basically, the same songs by the same artists are looped into a digestible format and repeated daily.
“We’ve interviewed subjects with such acute musicoma that they break out in hives if they hear anything other than Phil Collins or Elton John,” stated Thomas Dolby M.D. “ I just know that if I hear *Sledgehammer* one more time I’m going to completely flip out…”
The Stray Cats could not be reached for comment.
Comments:
<< Home
Did anyone else notice that George Michael is now dispensing medical advice in this article? How funny! I wonder if Sammy Hagar will jump on the medical bandwagon next...
Post a Comment
<< Home
