Saturday, March 19, 2005
We Have a Winner/Loser II
Another sad installment in our ongoing series showcasing life’s greatest winner/losers.
In a surprise move this week, the warning placard posted on gasoline pumps everywhere became America’s #1 most defaced public notice. The photo used in the Pay for Your Gas or Lose Your License campaign was scribbled on by bored gas pumpers for the umpty-billionth time this week.
The unexpected jump displaced the long-standing #1 resident—the chrome instructions for warm air hand dryers, “Push Button, dry hands under warm air.” The favorite method was to scratch out certain letters with a sharp object so the directions then read, “Push Butt warm hands under arms.”
“Push Butt** was on top for so long that we never thought we’d see its reign end in our lifetime,” noted researcher Carrie A. Sharpie. “I can only attribute this change to the proliferation of touch-free towel dispensers.”
Graffiti connoisseurs cited general discontent over steadily rising gas prices and the officer’s subtly porcine appearance as their primary motivation for defacing the photo.
Casey Kasem could not be reached for comment.
In a surprise move this week, the warning placard posted on gasoline pumps everywhere became America’s #1 most defaced public notice. The photo used in the Pay for Your Gas or Lose Your License campaign was scribbled on by bored gas pumpers for the umpty-billionth time this week.
The unexpected jump displaced the long-standing #1 resident—the chrome instructions for warm air hand dryers, “Push Button, dry hands under warm air.” The favorite method was to scratch out certain letters with a sharp object so the directions then read, “Push Butt warm hands under arms.”
“Push Butt** was on top for so long that we never thought we’d see its reign end in our lifetime,” noted researcher Carrie A. Sharpie. “I can only attribute this change to the proliferation of touch-free towel dispensers.”
Graffiti connoisseurs cited general discontent over steadily rising gas prices and the officer’s subtly porcine appearance as their primary motivation for defacing the photo.
Casey Kasem could not be reached for comment.
Comments:
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I once had a friend that was arrested for public intoxication and underage consumption in college because he said "Bacon" repeatedly to the officer that was questioning him.
I don't remember what that has to do with this post, but I thought you'd find it funny.
I don't remember what that has to do with this post, but I thought you'd find it funny.
Wow... mister fancy pants frequenting extablishments that sport "touchless" paper dispensers. You probably also only go to the swanky joints where the urinals go all the way to the floor in a gaudy, superflous display of porcelain waste. And yes, your pants ARE fancy!
# posted by 
: 1:47 PM
: 1:47 PM
Those annoying decals on the pump come right off with a little gas. Pour a little on there, it'll slide off. I had a guy yell at me once at the pump because I was using my cell phone while I was gassing the car. I thought he was kidding. He said I could blow the whole place to kingdom come or bed, bath or beyond or something and I said the WHAT? But I never heard his answer, flames come on so fast. I was just lucky the wind was blowing his direction. And that I had a full tank of gas. And enough chaos to make a getaway.
Point is I been there, but now you got me thinking on this touchless thing--the thing has possifuckinbilities, you know that? Touchless toothbrush, buttwipers, tires, genetalia...
Point is I been there, but now you got me thinking on this touchless thing--the thing has possifuckinbilities, you know that? Touchless toothbrush, buttwipers, tires, genetalia...
I meant... genitalia.
And--separate thought--I am gaga for ka--and she, like me, is from Chigaga.
Touchless blogging... touchless...
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And--separate thought--I am gaga for ka--and she, like me, is from Chigaga.
Touchless blogging... touchless...
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